and I don’t
want anymore
I will
breathe in
the saltwater air
and know I
don’t have to go anywhere
I’ll have another piece of cake
lay down
and let my birth to this planet
amaze me
I emerged when it was 78 degrees out
not a bad way to start living

I think of the women I’ve loved
can still feel their breath panting
in my heartbeat
I don’t know if I’m living or have
started dying
probably a little of both
I’ll make a wish
I’ll climb my uneducated mind
for a higher education
and pick bananas of poetry
from the wet dog who just
jumped on the bed
and the poor widows
solemn going to church
with a ghost

it’s my 44th birthday
and I have a cut in my brain
where the madness pours out
but love seeps outta my eyes
I’ll cry for you
and the dusty moon
just trying to make it in the dark
like us all
the streetlights are holy places
when you walk under them with
a stack of books
nothing but the quiet hum
of wonder in your hands

and I don’t think I’ll stop aging
though I’ve tried
the fountain of youth
is a big fake smile
you can’t see
I don’t need it anyway
I’m happy to get rotten
it feels good to be falling apart
I know I’m a little closer to heaven
that great mist of ecstasy

I laugh at the sun
all shy
and not coming to my birthday party
we just weren’t meant to shine today
birthday boy in the grey
rain coming down like the years that have passed
I’m wet with a lifetime
it’s my birthday
it’s yours too
if you start living today
I think I’ll feast
live crowned with mercy
angels in the dust mites
all singing happy birthday to me
only they make the song rhyme
with my spirit
my old and young spirit
just trying to get away
for the weekend
to a little place
where I can find God
in an evergreen tree
staying vital
and I’ll try to be like that too
let every breath
be one of energy
and gratitude
I’ll stare at God
and let Him pull me away