Me and my zine

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Me and my zine

Submissions are open for The Swaying Drunkard’s Moose, and I’m so excited to start reading your poems! Unless they’re about your cat. Your cat or Jesus. We don’t wanna read those. PLEASE DON’T SEND SUBMISSIONS TO OUR OLD,TALLYHO site OR THEY WILL NOT BE READ!!! (Tallyho died in June of 2015 to become the lovely The Swaying Drunkard’s Moose we’re so eternally proud of now. Wild applause. Glory. Female orgasm? Maybe.) Well, the last thing I’m gonna say about The Swaying Drunkard’s Moose is we are so STOKED y’all to have Godfrey Blurst as our new fiction editor for spring! So if you’re submitting prose it’s Godfrey’s pants you’re going to be pulling down and munching on while you wait for a response. Which incidentally, is usually 2-3 months after we have received your reading fee. Hey people, I work at a community college and cafeteria lunches are expensive, plus I have a wife and kid and a family of my own. Well, you get the idea. Now, onto other matters. As many of you know, I own a small independent and used bookstore in downtown Milwaukee called Vagina Jaw and to coincide with the release of our annual all poetry anthology Vagina Heart, we had a gathering, a soiree, a who’s who, back in March. Well, I just want to say thank you to the members of The Calvary Covenant First Baptist Church for protesting the cover of the 2016 edition of Vagina Heart (a Christmas tree screwing an easter bunny) because if it wasn’t for you I don’t think we would have made the Arts and Leisure section of the weekend Milwaukee Sun. Big thanks also, to Jerry Tilldore our art director for all The Swaying Drunkard’s Moose and Vagina Heart editions going all the way back toTallyho and before that to The Muse’s Brunch.) Nuff sed. In other happenings, to much to my delight, amusement, and shock, guess what I saw on ebay going for a cool $267? That’s right, KITTYHAWK, the inaugural and only release (of course on vinyl, is there anything else listeners???) from the founding members of my 80’s new wave, punk noveau band The Royal Grout. You may have seen pictures of me from the old days on my facebook, twitter, Pintrest, LinkiedIn, and Google+ accounts. I think I may have some up there anyway. Like Rory Vern, our bassist used to say-“let ’em know you’re jaded!” By the way, BIG congrats to Rory for playing acoustic guitar for the surviving members of Jackbiscuit on their recent tour. So, have you ever had a literary meltdown? I was reading the proofs yesterday on some things and I couldn’t think for like 2 minutes. I swear on Trump’s Gold. The words sounded like mooshy oatmeal. It didn’t help of course that some people were there giving me the business because I didn’t offer them much for their box of VC Andrews books. Like I said people, I have a family too. Which reminds me I gotta get to it.

Pigeon Sh-t,
Dexter Frump