I was feeling down
it was Memorial Day weekend
and I just wanted to sit among nature
along with a hundred other dumb souls
nowhere to park, so I drove a little further down
it was the same story everywhere
so I kept driving
trying to let go of this angry funk I’ve been in
it’s not about the people
or hot dogs, potato salad and the American flag
but there’s got to be something more out there
I’m tired of looking
so I kept driving
stopped at the local coffee shop
it was me and two other people,
a coffee date with conversations of
dairy free ice cream and golf
it’s exhausting, you know,
always looking for something,
not knowing what you’re looking for
and never finding it
or maybe it passed right by
and I never knew it because of this funk
do you ever get a strange feeling you’re going to die?
it comes out of nowhere while walking to your car
your arms and legs feel like jelly
something squeezing your head, a heaviness
everything is moving in slow-motion
it takes effort to breathe
the slightest noise makes you jump
and that’s it, everything stops
and that’s the end
but you keep driving
pass an old man, older than you
driving a truck that should have gone to the grave
decades ago and you wonder
how he’s made it this far
eventually you head back home
the place that brings you the most comfort
the last place you want to be
so you throw a couple of loads of laundry in the washer,
choke down some almost ripe watermelon
listen to the traffic outside the window,
the sound of the neighbor’s kid making goat noises
and stare at the inside of your head

Selected byNolcha Fox
Image credit:Sahand Babali

Ken Tomaro is a writer living in Cleveland, Ohio. His work centers around everyday life with depression. Sometimes blunt, often dark but always grounded in reality.

He has 4 full-length collections of poetry: Home Is Where the Headstones Are, An Angry Year, Paralysis & Potholes and Perogies (through Alien Buddha Press) available on Amazon.