Writer’s Block Acoustic

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I’ve been writing all day, trying
to find a phrase
that doesn’t need any formal wear and

my hands are twine, tying my eyes
wide. My cheeks are turning pink
like rabid dogs in heat.

I’ve been erasing all day, trying
to find out her name
that walks through scribbled out
smudging of me and

the walls are newsprint thin
like my sister when I was ten.
I don’t like it when they blink
or grin through filed down teeth.

I’ve been scratching all day, trying
to distract the peeling
and hauntings in my memory that walk
on backwards feet and

the words are reaching long fingers
through decomposing sheaths
with a neck that touches the ceiling
and casts a gray screen.

I’ve been writing all day, trying
to find a phrase
that doesn’t need any formal wear and

Image credit:Steve Johnson

Kaci Skiles Laws is a closet cat-lady and creative writer living in Dallas—Fort Worth. She is an editor at Open Arts Forum, and her writing has been featured in The Letters Page, Bewildering Stories, The American Journal of Poetry, Pif Magazine, The Blue Nib, Necro Magazine, Cajun Mutt Press, Terror House Magazine, Anti-Heroin Chic, and Ten Million Flies, among others. She won an award for her poem, This is How it Ends, by North Central Texas College's English Department and is currently working on a children's book called The Boogerman. Her published work and blog can be viewed at https://kaciskileslawswriter.wordpress.com/, and her visual artwork and music can be viewed on YouTube under Kaci and Bryant.

 

One thing I'd like people to know about me: I test high for schizotypal personality disorder.

 

“Psychologists believe that a number of famous creative luminaries, including Vincent Van Gogh, Albert Einstein, Emily Dickinson and Isaac Newton, had schizotypal personalities.”

 

That quote comes from the ScienceDaily article Odd Behavior And Creativity May Go Hand-in-hand, which explains,

 

“Often viewed as a hindrance, having a quirky or socially awkward approach to life may be the key to becoming a great artist, composer or inventor.

 

“New research on individuals with schizotypal personalities – people characterized by odd behavior and language but who are not psychotic or schizophrenic – offers the first neurological evidence that they are more creative than either normal or fully schizophrenic individuals, and rely more heavily on the right sides of their brains than the general population to access their creativity.”

 

What defines it?

 

Schizotypal Personality Disorder Symptoms:

 

People with schizotypal personality disorder have odd behavior, speech patterns, thoughts, and perceptions. Other people often describe them as strange or eccentric. People who have this disorder may also:

 

Dress, speak, or act in an odd or unusual way.

 

Be suspicious and paranoid.

 

Be uncomfortable or anxious in social situations due to their distrust of others.

 

Have few friends.

 

Be very uncomfortable with intimacy.

 

Tend to misinterpret reality or to have distorted perceptions (for example, mistaking noises for voices).

 

Have odd beliefs or magical thinking (for example, being overly superstitious or thinking of themselves as psychic).

 

Be preoccupied with fantasy and daydreaming.

 

Tend to be stiff and awkward when relating to others.

 

Come across as emotionally distant, aloof, or cold.

 

Have limited emotional responses or seem “flat”.

 

Other fictional examples include:

 

1. The main character in Taxi Driver

2. Willy Wonka

3. Belle from Beauty and the Beast