It’s true, what you said,
if I don’t love myself
I can’t really love you.

I kissed my reflection
on the lips last night
in the motel mirror
mostly as a dare
from me to me –

& no way around it;
you cannot kiss yourself
on the cheek or
on the forehead in a mirror.

I do care enough
not to be a burden.
Not smoking, drinking
or doing drugs is a full time job.

When friends ask me,
what are you up to these days?
I smile & tell them I’ve been busy
not killing myself.

It’s true, what you said,
I do hide my feelings.

Like when I proposed
by getting down on one knee
& falling over fumbling
around in my pockets, looking
for what I couldn’t afford,
what wasn’t there to make you laugh,
hoping you would say, Yes.

I worry about the house plant,
the succulent with the little red flowers.
I need to come home.
I promise not to overwater it.