I was born at Mary Greeley Hospital in Ames, Iowa the Fifteenth of January in the year Nineteen Sixty Eight at 2 am. My Mother had not yet picked a name, so my original birth certificate simply said Baby Boy. For the first week I was in an incubator for babies needing extra attention. I arrived around three pounds and a month early. I was a small kid for much of my youth. In elementary school almost everyone called me Twittle, until that spring day in sixth grade when Mom rushing over the lunch I failed to grab caught my teacher using it. She ordered Mr. Jones out in the hallway, closed the door and whittled him down till there was nothing left but sawdust. After that, everyone just called me Tom.