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Lance Watson

Lance Watson splits his time between the United States and the Netherlands, writing poetry and prose based on his observations and general level of indigestion.

The last dayPoetry

The last day

Lance WatsonJuly 25, 2026

On the last day people were still doing the things people do when they think there will be another day. At a dentist’s office…

How I Became the Face of Alpha Male GreensPoetry

How I Became the Face of Alpha Male Greens

Lance WatsonJuly 12, 2026

Weed costs more now which is honestly the main reason I went looking for work Rent was bad food was bad everything was bad…

War SeasonNon-fiction

War Season

Lance WatsonMay 26, 2026

War comes around again because there is always a market for men who want to sound grave on television. They put on the face.…

Self-CheckoutPoetry

Self-Checkout

Lance WatsonMay 23, 2026

At the grocery store the machine thanks me for my honesty. This is new. Once there were cashiers with dyed hair, bad knees, small…

The Friendly Internet ForumFlash and Short Fiction

The Friendly Internet Forum

Lance WatsonMay 20, 2026

I should have noticed the warning signs the moment Gordon introduced himself as “Gordon, founder of the internet’s friendliest community.” He said it with…

I Was Sentenced to DeathPoetry

I Was Sentenced to Death

Lance WatsonMay 17, 2026

And you were, too, of course. The day you were born, they clipped the cord, slapped the pink into you, wrapped you like a…

The Round Earth HoaxHumor

The Round Earth Hoax

Lance WatsonApril 11, 2026

https://youtu.be/FcMYfIJ5wfI?si=oc9usQqi26URpAvt It has been, I confess, a bracing season for the human mind. At long last—after centuries of being gently herded by men in…

A day in the life of a social media activistPoetry

A day in the life of a social media activist

Lance WatsonMarch 28, 2026

I woke up ready to be useful, which for me usually means I didn’t sleep well and I’m trying to convert that into a…

DisturbingPoetry

Disturbing

Lance WatsonFebruary 25, 2026

I’m reading the paper on a Sunday morning, coffee going cold, headline doing that thing where it pretends to be neutral. A federal agent…

America legalizes murderPoetry

America legalizes murder

Lance WatsonJanuary 9, 2026

I open the paper and it greets me like a motel sign buzzing in the rain: Democracy Dies in Darkness. Which is funny because…

merry fucking christmasPoetry

merry fucking christmas

Lance WatsonDecember 23, 2025

it’s december 23rd and i’m doing the only liturgy i still believe in: standing in a line. the line is at the post office—…

apologies to the catPoetry

apologies to the cat

Lance WatsonOctober 15, 2025

after the cops left and the ambulance had gone and i was home again with nothing but silence and the leftover pad thai that…