i’ve always managed to hang onto it
that joy inherent in the season
not solely for its christian notes
(which i’ll enjoy for what they are)
but for times far older
the light in the darkest days
needed it
when he slammed over the tree
so lovingly, delightfully decorated
and even moreso
when i’d repaired it best i could
set it back up again
so the kids wouldn’t cry
and he smashed it to pieces in spite
but that was many years back
and time restored my spirits
this year, though
given a general lack of hope for ’25
people constantly voicing
not carols but complaints
that this year doesn’t feel like xmas
and my American husband
doing his best grinch impression
and listening to women bitching about their men
and men bitching about everything
and some with every reason not to support him
actually offering credit and credulity to trump
and the m-i-l not wanting her den decorated
nor gifts, nor cards displayed
dismayed her favourite son wouldn’t be visiting
(still grieving his wife)
and then remarking to her bestie
about how un-seasonal things were
and how the cantata wasn’t very good this year
(she couldn’t hear it, so not their fault)
and how the menu (i’d carefully planned with her
to make sure she had just what she wanted)
missed things she wished had been on it
i am
finally, fully
for this year, at least,
un-christmassed
