my testosterone has been chopped
medically castrated by injection last week
in prep for radiation treatments
I couldn’t hold my water today and had to scrap today’s scheduled treatment
you have to have a full bladder for that and I suddenly couldn’t hold water anymore
not even for 15 minutes
I’m mad at the goddamn pills
they are no good now
I want hope and get handed a pill
they call it the practice of medicine
marvel of marvels
I had to stop on the road on the way home from the treatment center
in a panic to get my dick out to piss before I pissed all over myself while traffic went by
I didn’t quite make it and couldn’t hide from the traffic
forget pride, hell, forget simple cleanliness,
and hygiene? hygiene is for the healthy
cancer trumps covid
and just about everything else
the body is fine when it works as it should
but when it doesn’t…
not because I wanted to
or because I was drunk
but because I couldn’t stop it
I pissed on my shoes today on a public road
