Don’t you know the difference between a potato and a lion?
That’s odd.

They put lions on pajamas but not potatoes.
You’ll never see potatoes on your brother’s pajamas.

Lions roar. Lions are not called spuds. Lions are fine and dandy,
like petunias or dandelions. Your mother could make potato and dandelion soup,
if she cared to, and you could help.
All you’d need is a dandy lion and an ideal potato.

Potatoes grow on trees. Just tell your favorite farmer you’ll need a bushel this year.
He’ll know what to do. But there’ll be fewer apples if he grows potatoes.
You’ll have to think it through.

Of course, some say potatoes don’t grow on trees. Some people get quite angry
about this mistake. My father used to shout, “You’re always forgetting
to turn out the lights. Do you think potatoes grow on trees?”

When I was young, we were poor. Father would turn over the ketchup bottle
to catch the very last drop. My family liked to put ketchup on our potatoes,
but not on our lions. Ketchup grows on trees, too. Put in your order
at the start of the year.

But when it comes to lions, I’d be careful. I wouldn’t get too close.
Lions are reluctant to swim. You’re probably thinking of dolphins who can swim
very fast. They swim as fast as crows can fly. But I wouldn’t put ketchup
on the crows either. In point of fact, you’d be better off keeping the ketchup
to yourself.

So, where were we? You’ve got the ketchup, the lion, and the potato,
not to mention the dolphins and the lights. What are we forgetting?
The crows! And the trees. Don’t forget to turn off the trees.
And the apple sauce. If there is any left.

Now pick the petunias before it is too late. Add them to the soup. Stir.
When it comes to the boil, you’ll have chicken soup. Enjoy. (Serves 4.)