If I were to begin licking now, I’d probably be finished
by midnight. I’d like the opportunity.
Or you could sign up for our monthly pass,
in which case, I’d drop by once a week to suck your toes.
It’s up to you. We are running a special.

*

It’ll cost you extra if you want me to stick my finger …

*

Or you could buy a lottery ticket.
We are having a drawing in which case you or a loved one
would have the chance to take advantage of my wife.
She’ll be 23 in March.
This is all I am prepared to say.
I’m terribly sorry.

*

Let’s get back, if we may, to our subscription package.
We are offering sexual gratification at this time
on a weekly basis, but you’ll have to sign up today.
That is correct. Someone will come by to lick your inner
thigh for eleven minutes. Guaranteed.

*

BLISS. That’s correct. B-L-I-S-S.
Right. It’s available on a subscription basis only.
Today, we are offering a ten percent discount
on our orgasm delight special.
We don’t like to use that word. We could be sued.
Happiness is being offered by our competition.
We prefer to say we offer bliss by the hour.

*

You’ve seen the ad?
That is one of our specialties. We use organic honey.
Our competitor, I might add, uses an imported product
known to contain inorganic matter as well as contaminants.
It is a concoction made by the Chinese. Ours is 100%
Appalachian clover. You might be interested in our orange
blossom upgrade. That is correct. We pour it into your ears.

*

Well, think it over. You have my number.

Image credit:Michael Prewett

David Lohrey is from Memphis. He graduated from UC Berkeley. His plays have been produced in Switzerland, Croatia, and Lithuania.  His poetry can be found in Otoliths, Tuck Magazine, and the Cardiff Journal. His fiction can be read in Storgy Magazine, Terror House, and Literally Stories. David’s newest collection of poetry, MACHIAVELLI’S BACKYARD, was published last year by Sudden Denouement Publications.